Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Very very random thorgits

  • Tune in next week when you’ll hear Miss Piggy say: “I was pleasantly surprised to learn that it can also serve as a marital aid device.”
  • “If you can’t do nothing other than flow, life’s a bitch like the mother from blow.” – Jason Phillips, aka The Kiss Of Death.
  • The singing is unremarkable unless you want to remark of the high nasal content, the trackwork is pedestrian and banal, there is a keyboardist in there who has ambitions beyond the capacity of his talent, and from what I can understand the lyrics are not exactly genius. (“I will let you take me. Take me wherever you go. I will not be afraid. Baby, you’re just too much and this is a beat that they can’t touch.”) Technically speaking, it should be a terrible song.
    But I can’t help myself. When Tindatiine, which I shall link up to this blog when The Genius sorts me out with convert-to-MP3 software, comes on, I am imbued with irrepressible joy-joy happy-dancy finger-snappery feelings and I get so excited I just can’t hide it. I lose control and find myself unable to hide it.
  • Tune in next week when you’ll hear Miss Piggy say: “I asked for a Gucci handbag. Handbag. How can you possibly get the words 'hand' and 'colostomy' mixed up?”
  • Remy Ma, Jean Grae, Bahamadia, Eve, Digga. Top Five.
  • I had a deadly deal going down with some mega-corporation that keeps a satellite office on the campus of Makerere University. When I got there, they gave me an envelope. That was brown.
    The consequence of this is me walking through campus with a necktie on, carrying a brown envelope. Kwegamba looking like a fresher geek.
    A fresher geek is a freshman who wears a tie when he goes for registration.
    Really, if you are a freshman, wear a t-shirt and shorts. You are not fooling anyone: we know you are not a real human being, you are just a freshman. Put the ties away until you get a job. All you are doing is causing confusion and embarrassment.
  • Tune in next week when you’ll hear Miss Piggy say: “Baby, this sort of fabulous doesn’t just happen. You work, you practice and you pay.”
  • Another top five: Ani Akumanyi? Dave Koz, Air Force Ones, A freakin’ Hummer-for-crying-out-loud-what- is-wrong-with-people??!!! That is a top five list of the most offensive poser things in the universe. The hummer counts as three things.
  • What, you think I don't have dreams? You think I have no ambition, you think I don't have dreams? I got dreams! I'm not just a wasted little loser drip. I got dreams. See?

One day I'm going to finally write this.


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