Thoughts on DVDs and a paragraph including the term "Hep Cat"

When I put in West Wing, the dvd player glows with what I cannot fail to identify as ecstasy. I can almost hear it say, “That’s right. Right there. Right there. Oooh, yes! Ooooh Ernest!”

Jack needs a comic sidekick. A wisecracking black dude, perhaps, to follow him around saying stuff like, “Dayum, Jack! You shot dat nigga in da leg! You’s a cold muthafucka, shootin’ niggas in da leg like dat!” No, not Curtis. Curtis has dignity.

Someone I know who liked Prison Break would frequently gush about how cute the stars were. This led me to think that this show was just a bunch of pretty boys in a homoerotic jail drama. You will be surprised to find, though, that it isn't exactly that. It has other elements.

Speaking of homoerotic, what would you do if a dude with superhuman powers had the gay hots for you the way Clark has them for Lex? I guess it’s a good thing Lex is also gay. So when Clark is all, "You looking mighty fine in 'em jeans"

Desperate Housewives doesn’t suck, but I think they should cut out this nonsense about “ensemble” acting and focus on the true stars of the show: Eva Left and Eva Right.

Finally,
All the hep cats go to "Al Zwizzle" don’t they? Well, I saw them on Saturday: About half a million people trying to hang out in a little garage-looking place. The bulk of the clientele was outside in the parking lot, slurring and groping among itself. I think you can drive up and park somewhere in the lot, crack open that pot of enguli you brought from Kireka and still say you were hanging at Al Zwizzle. In fact I think I shall do exactly that. I shall get my boys wearing kanzus and we commune over a pot of Malwa as the hep cats mill around with their Smirnoff Ices. Haharing for World Cup as they say.