I love it here. It is home and it is the only place I know. I want to visit New York one day but just for two weeks, because I want to see a streetball game in Brooklyn and catch a jazz concert, but then I'll come right back.
Now, some Africans complain about what they call a negative portrayal in the Western media.
Okay, sit down. I have something to tell you. You are the one who is wrong. CNN is right.
There are 26 million Ugandans and you can't see them all from Café Pap, so you don't realise how many of them are not living a life of Capuccinos and wifi. It is easy to forget that they exist, but they do. The number of poor people in this country, on this continent, far far outweighs the miniscule fraction of privileged spoilt bourgeoise Ivory Tower brats who sip Cappuccinos.
I have been looking at statistics all week. Ask Rev. And though I am glad to see that things are getting better (Less civil war, coups are less frequent, more stable on the whole, AIDS, water, malaria, malnutrition, communication, education on the up, generally speaking) but the picture of the runny-nosed barefoot kid who needs foreign aid is still a typical one.
Men Lie, Women Lie, Numbers Don't.
The numbers are staggering. I started off with trying to get an idea of how tiny the Cappuccino constituency is. Or at least how misled we are in thinking that everybody is like us. I got this far. There are 26 million Ugandans. In 2004 DSTv had 6000 subscribers. On a great day, the Sunday Vision, Uganda 's best selling paper, sells 40,000 copies. The number of people whose lifestyle does not include reading Angela Kintu right after watching Desperate Housewives on Series, and then calling up their buddies on their cellphone and be all like, "What proggie? Mateos? Kawa!"?
25 and a half million.
Then my doddering office computer finally loaded the page and the stats appeared. Internet users per 1000 Ugandans- Four. Number of mobile phones per 100 inhabitants- 2.
25 and a half million with no cellphone number. 25 and a half million without a fucking clue about all this blogger dot com nonsense.
A quarter of the children who die under the age of five die of malaria. I get malaria like three times every year. I just run to AAR and get a jab. Meanwhile 3 million kids have died of this shit in that year. Us Café Pap guys have our choice of a dozen different doctors at AAR , so for one of you there are 12 doctors.
But Uganda as a whole, there is only one doctor for every 12,500 people. You first count 12,500 people and see how many they are.
Meanwhile, there is one doctor for every 170 Cubans. Cuba
Now that those numbers have served their purpose: i.e. getting you alarmed, I will tell you that these stats are five years old. Things have been improving drastically and fast. Mobile phones: we all know that those are like 3 million in Ug now, and those stats were taken before they started their massive anti-malaria drive, but you get the picture. You guys, we are not Ugandans. We are a tiny, miniscule, tiny, infinitesimally minute, colossally tiny (if you'll excuse me), fraction of Uganda . Of Africa .
We are the ones with all the money, yes, we are the economy, so we are not insignificant; we are actually very important, and our greed and avarice are what keep this nation alive, but numerically speaking? How does 0.02 percent speak for the whole? How does 0.02 per cent even speak for the part? 0.02 per cent needs to shut the hell up.
So, when someone outside this land asks you what Africa is like, tell them you also don't know. You just read about it on jackfruity's blog.
Acknowledge Africa people. Recognise where your place in Africa really really is. Feel a bit of shame and a bit of guilt. Café Pap my ass.
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