Too easy

It is way too easy to go and sound gay. I am not just talking about when a male person uses the word "fuschia" in a sentence. And reveals that he actually knows what it means.

(For the record, I wasn’t even sure how to spell it, okay?)

Now, I happen to know a few stellar constellations. Constellations as in those star groups with names. I know a lot of useless things and constellations is one of them. I don’t think I can offer a valid excuse or reason why. I was bored and young and stupid. Instead of using my time constructively I went and learnt where Taurus is in the sky.

I mentioned this to a friend of mine once, innocently and in passing, as one does. He mulled over it for a second then, evidently thinking “This shit might impress chicks” he asked me to show him some.

Actually, he is a born again Christian, so his thoughts might have been more like, “This s**t might impress chicks”, but he asked me to teach him a couple of constellations and I did. I showed him Orion, Canis Major, Scorpio and The Pleiades. The exhibition was carried out in a stoically macho way, with no sentiment whatsoever. All I did was grunt and point. “That one is Orion, that one is Scorpio etc”.

The very next day, when this chap and I met in a populated area where there were very many people with ears, out of the blue, and with no provocation at all, he blurted out, “Baz, we should go and look at the stars again tonight.”

He leater explained that he just wanted to make sure the diagrams he had drawn in preparation for his chick-impressing activities were accurate. But I still had to spend the next few weeks fending off mean jokes and cruel cajolings.

Such as those you are thinking of right this minute.