You little F..., I got money stacks bigger than you

I was on the empty back seat of a taxi over the weekend, listening to the BBC on the phone radio because all the other stations suck. Outside, a young boy was was being dropped off at the stage by his mommy.
He was around nine years old. Clearly one of those kids who grow up to be the sort of person who attends LC 1 meetings. He was dressed in Sunday best: a cream shirt ironed to within an inch of its life, trousers that stopped above the ankles exposing the school socks beneath, and some battered-ass shoes. The whole ensemble was the sort that makes you admire the kid for making the effort if for nothing else.

He had a cob of roasted maize in his hand.

Mommy dropped him off, and he climbed into the taxi, ending up next to me.

He didn’t sit at the other window, he sat right next to me, which was perplexing. I still remember the time I was caught in a taxi from Entebbe with these women who were swankling groundnuts. That means chewing with their mouths open. And talking. It was disgusting. They had peanut-breath. I didn’t want to go through that again.

I cast a glance at the kid, hoping to see him put his maize cob in, I don’t know, his pocket or something. No, he was preparing to dig in.
When he saw me look at him, he— you will now think I am lying, but I swear, even though I tell many lies on this blog, this time it is the truth— the bastard offered me some of his maize.

What the shit! Did this runnynosed rugrat runt think I was "eyeing" his mangy decrepit maize cob? Did he imagine that I was aching inside for a bite of it? That my heart was burning within my chest, that my soul was screaming, that any similar internal disquiet was taking place, and that he needed to assuage this discomfort by offering me a …. What the shit?!

Did this impudent little skidmark really think I could not buy my own personal maize if I felt that there was need?

I wanted to grab a fifty thou from my pocket and slap him in the face with it while snapping, “Look, Lil Bow Wow, I can throw you out of this taxi with just one hand, and then give you return cab fare with the other. You better recognize and act like you know and other phrases that were popular before you were even born! And moreover (extremely offensive and snobbish comment removed by author on second thought)”
I mean, this kid didn’t know my pedigree?

He probably didn’t mean it as an insult, but still, fuck him.