The International Man Council just revised the top ten list of the world’s most beautiful women to relegate Toni Braxton from the top slot following her developing oldness, and to accommodate a promotion for Beyonce Knowles.
The changes are shown below.
Number 1&2: This position was formerly held by Halle Berry and Toni Braxton, with Halle being number one, and Toni number two or the other way round depending on where they are at the time. (For example, in X-Men, Halle is number two, and in the video for You’re Making Me High, Braxton was number one)
That has been changed. Beyonce now takes the number one spot permanently (by permanently, we mean until the next revision in a few months). The number two slot will be retained by Halle Berry.
Number 3 & 4: This position was previously defined as Britney Spears, Jessica Alba, Aaliyah, Angelina Jolie, Eva Longoria’s fine ass and all those other celebrity chicks who People magazine keeps shoving into our faces. That has been revised to kick Britney out. According to Grand Machismo Board Spokesperson, “She hasn’t had an album in years, so why is this woman still in my face?”
Number 5: This remains unchanged. It is all the celebrity chicks in the region you live in who do not have access to high-priced make-up artists, personal trainers, hi-tech photoshoot studios and all the stuff that makes Number 3-4 women shine. In the case of Ugandans, for example, this includes Karitas, Crystal, Mariam Ndagire and other singers, actors etc. The “others” are open to debate, because the IMC allows individual men the right to say “she’s not all that” in reference to any one of them. However, you may NOT dispute the fineness of Karitas or Crystal.
Number 6: Unchanged. Your babe. Or the chick you want to make your babe. You may tell her she is the most beautiful woman in the world, but we all know she is not as fine as Numbers 1-4
Number 7: Sometimes your eye wanders from the love of your life. That other chick who tempts you.
Number 8: Unchanged. The attractive women you are not romantically pursuing. This includes your cute colleague, the kyana at the MTN kiosk round the corner etc.
Number 9: Unchanged. The attractive women you are not romantically pursuing who are above 40. This includes your hot boss, the woman who owns the supermarket at the end of the street who drives around in the Pajero and is officially the neighbourhood MILF.
Number 10: Unchanged. The women who look good but it isn’t right to lump then in with the eye-candy. That is, women who make a meaningful contribution to society. Like those fly MPs and so forth. Men are allowed the “she’s not all that” prerogative, however, the IMC insists that Oprah will NOT be permitted on the grounds that she is an evil witch who corrupts the youth.
This list is certified by the IMC, 2005-06 Chapter, Brussels
