Dans La Republique Democratique

There was no shortage of clients in Kinshasa. Demand for foreign gigolos is high because most of the native men are gay. They are all dancers in Lingala videos. However the economy, in case I haven't mentioned it before, is as miserable as bollocks and unworthy of any metaphor more sophisticated than that, therefore, though I got several propositions, I had to turn them down, explaining that I do not do La Position De Grand Cheinne E'Quille, and I certainly do not do Le Credite.

The rate of mobile phone density and coverage in the Congo is very low, if you are in the mood for understatement. I entered the country with my Nokia and, thanks to that, the DRC mobile phone rate rose by 33.3 per cent. That's right. Without me there were only two cellys in the country.So it didn't take a lot of invesigation to find the president's phone number. The sim card they gave me was number 079 000 003, so I called 079 000 002, and when it turned out to be a missionary in the western jungles, the rest was common sense. It was a no-brainer. 079 000 001, I dialed.
"'Allo?" said the voice on the other end.
"I'd like to speak to Laurent, please."
"Paradon madame, paradon monsier?"
I repeated myself. This time making sure to pronounce the name Laurent as Honghah.
"Oh! Le President! Une minute, cil vous plait."
Education is the key.